


The Day He Left

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Pre-Stanford, Stanford, the day Sam left for Stanford
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-04
Updated: 2016-08-04
Packaged: 2018-07-29 05:16:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7671544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The day Sam left wasn't supposed to go like this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Day He Left

It wasn’t even about Stanford at first. 

In fact, shocked as he was about the applications, all John ever responded with at the mentions of college was with stoic grunts and silence. Sam wanting to continue his education wasn’t necessarily a surprise considering how many arguments they got into because Sam insisted on staying at a location long enough for him to turn in this project or that essay. 

What took John aback was how easy it was for Sam to _want_ to leave. Sam, for the most part, has always been the most empathetic of the three Winchesters. Even when John has no choice but to leave him alone for his birthday, even when they kindled his prep tests because it was the only flammable thing they could find in an abandoned warehouse, even when John didn’t stop the car after he hit a dog because they had to get to where a demon was sighted, Sam always found a way to forgive him. Or so he thought. 

But when Sam nonchalantly told him “Orientation is in two weeks,” early on a morning while Dean was out getting breakfast from the dollar menu, John knew all his built-up karma was about to drown him. It wasn’t the fact that Sam was leaving them that hurt, it was the fact that Sam told him without a hint of remorse. In that statement, all John heard was, “Two more weeks is all I need to endure before I can get finally get the fuck away from you.” 

John shook it off. He always knew how to take a beating anyhow. 

“Great. How you going to get there?” John asked, not looking up from the laptop in front of him or else he knew he’d cave in.

After a couple moments with no response, he looked up to see Sam staring at him with an open mouth, looking surprised as if he hasn’t had an escape route planned since he first learned which state Stanford was in. 

“I don’t... I-” Sam stammered out. He knew it was probably not what Sam expected to hear from him, but he wasn’t about to indulge him in another argument. 

“What, don’t tell me you expected me to drive you all the way to the west coast, Sam,” John continued. 

“No, I didn’t,” Sam said fiercely, shaking the table somewhat as he got up and left the motel room. 

 

~-~

 

“I’m sure he didn’t mean it like that at all,” Dean said to Sam, who he picked up walking on the side of the road away from the motel room they were staying at. Dean insisted on giving Sam a ride to the library so long as he finished the Egg McMuffins Dean bought for him. 

“He did, Dean, and you know it. I was prepared for a fight from him. I thought I was ready for whatever he wanted to hurl at me. But fuck, dad’s always been good at throwing curveballs,” Sam said biting into his hash brown. “Whatever, I’ll figure it out. I don’t need him.” 

“C’mon Sam, don’t be like that. You know we’re going to take you.” 

“No, I don’t need him to be doing me any _favors_.” 

“Fine, it’ll just be me then,” Dean said matter-of-factly. “I’ll get to annoy you one last time before you turn into a Boring-as-shit Joe.”

Sam scrunched up his nose. “As if Dad would let you have the car for that long just to drop me off.”

Dean pulled up in front of the library just as Sam threw his wrappers bag in the paper bag. 

“Are you kidding?,” Dean leaned down to talk to Sam through the passenger door. “I got him his hotcakes, an extra hash brown, and some cinnamon melts. There’s no way he’d turn me down. I’m the good kid, remember?” Dean leaves with a wink. 

~-~

No, it started because of a backpack. 

“I’m not taking it,” Sam said, putting aside the black bag with all the hunter supplies inside. “I don’t need it anymore.”

“Don’t be stupid,” John scoffed as he was packing the last of his things. “Just because you won’t be hunting doesn’t mean you don’t need to be prepared. You know what’s out there.” 

“I’m leaving it behind, dad. _All of it_.” Sam was working hard on controlling his patience. It was two days before his orientation and for some reason his dad changed his mind about dropping Sam off. Though he was grateful that his dad agreed to it, the last thing Sam wanted to do was revisit their classic argument on the day they leave. For once, he wished his dad would _just listen_ to him. “I already agreed on taking the .45 with me, there’s no way I’m taking all of this. There’s no reason to.”

“And if something comes after you? I’m not gonna be around to protect ya anymore, Sam. Take the damn bag," John said.

“I don’t need you to protect me, I can handle myself,” Sam said through gritted teeth. His patience was running thin. 

“Then how’d that ‘wolf get a scratch on you last week, huh?” John turned to stand a little too close to Sam’s face. “If I hadn’t shot the thing down you’d be ribbons right now, Sam!”

A warning, “Hey, alright” came from Dean who was leaning against the doorway twirling the car keys in his hand, but he was ignored.

“You know I had a gun of my own, I could’a handled it!” Sam raised his voice, puffing up right back. 

“Oh right, right after you asked it about _how its day had been_? Face it, Sam! You weren’t ready then and you aren’t ready now!” 

“Alright!” Dean got louder as he stood.

“No, go ahead, Dad! Tell me how you really feel!" Sam was red. "I know you’ve been holding a lot of stuff in but today’s your last day to get it all out! You don’t think I can make it on my own, can you? Even after all these years of training and hunting, you still can’t fucking believe in me, just for _goddamn once_!” 

“Enough!” 

“No, I don’t, Sam, ‘cause you’re still showing me what a fucking child you are! You’re stubborn and naive. You seen the monsters out there yourself and you still wanna believe that everyone’s good, ‘ _so long as you give them the chance_ ’,” John said, really mocking Sam then. “You’re fucking reckless, Sam. And you ain’t gonna last a fucking week out there if you don’t learn to grow the fuck up!”

Sam was exhausted, his anger was on fumes. He stepped away to grab at his things. He took the last of his bitterness to say, “If that’s how you feel, why did you even agree to drop me off? The last thing I want to do is make you be in a car with such such a disappointment of a son. I don’t need you to get there. And I don’t need the fucking supplies either. I’m leaving it _all_ behind.” 

“You show up dead, Sam, don’t say I didn’t warn ya!”

“I show up dead, dad, I promise you won’t hear from me,” Sam said sarcastically with his duffel bags already slung over his shoulder. 

“Sam, you walk outta that door like this, don’t you ever come back,” John said as a final threat. Sam glared at his dad for one final second before he decided that silence was the only way to respond to that. He looked at Dean for access, who had planted himself at the doorway, before he gave his brother a verbal “move” and a shove.

“Sam this isn’t fair. Don’t do this,” Dean said outside, trying to walk in front of his moving brother. 

“You heard him, Dean, I’m not doing anything,” Sam says heading South down the road. 

“C’mon, you were both saying things, don’t make this bigger than it needs to be.” 

“I need to go, Dean. You know I can’t be here any longer,” Sam said, stopping to finally look at his older brother.

“Yeah, okay. I get it," Dean said with a puff of air he didn't realize he was holding in. "I do. So let me drive you then, let’s go back to the car,” Dean sais as he held up the keys he was still holding to Sam’s face. Sam stopped for a moment to consider it, but then he looked back at the car and realized he’d rather do anything than take a step closer in the direction that he was trying to leave. 

“No, I’ll be fine. The train station’s only two miles that way,” Sam says, pointing down the road. 

“Why are you doing this to me, Sammy? I never said anything to you!” Dean said, getting exasperated. 

“Dean! This is not about _you_! Don’t you get it? This isn't about either of you! I have to do this for me! I can’t do this anymore, Dean. So please, let me do it.” 

Dean stood quiet for a second until finally he let out a heavy sigh. 

“Fine. At least let me take you to the station.” 

Sam shook his head. 

“I’ll get there on my own. You should probably get back to dad, make sure he didn’t pull a hernia.”

“Jesus Christ, Sam, is this really it, then? This is gonna be our goodbye? Just like this?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Sam said, refusing to acknowledge the loneliness of the situation and the heartbreak from his brother. “We’ve never been some for extravagant events anyway.” 

“It was gonna be,” Dean said, looking down the road Sam was headed. “I was gonna help you move in, hit on some of the upperclassmen, steal you your own first car, the whole package. We were supposed to do it all.”

Sam had tears in his eyes now but he managed to roll them at Dean anyway. This was the hardest thing he knew he was going to have to face and hearing everything that Dean had planned, he hated how it all turned out now, but he knew there was no taking things back now. 

“I’m sorry, Dean. I really am. I didn’t want it to be like this,” Sam let out quietly. 

“I know you didn’t, Sammy.” Dean said, looking back at his little brother. He took a good look before pulling Sam in for a rough bear hug. Sam dropped the bags in his hands so he could hug his brother back. They held on to each other for a while until finally Dean pulled back. 

“Alright enough, you’re suffocating me,” Dean said, knowing full well he was the one holding on too tight. He cleared his throat a couple times and blinked away the subtle hints of watery eyes as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a thick envelope. “Listen, it’s not a lot, but hopefully it can help you some.” He held it out to Sam. 

“What is it?” Sam said, reaching for it. He opened it up to see a wad of bills in there by the hundreds and twenties. “What the hell, Dean? I can’t take this. Where’d you get it?” 

“Didn’t your family teach you it’s fucking rude to ask about money? Just put it away and don’t lose it.” Sam didn’t move, just staring at Dean. “I got it from shaking my ass at that stripper joint last night, don’t worry about it,” Dean said with a roll in his eyes. Still skeptical, Sam started. 

“Dean,”

“It’s about $15,000. I know it ain’t a lot but I figure it can help a bit with school supplies and food for the first couple months until you can get a job or something.” 

 _Fifteen thousand_ , Sam echoed in his mind. He knew his brother wouldn’t risk scamming over a thousand off a single credit card for their living unless it was a real emergency, so he realized then that Dean must have been saving this up for a while. Looking up at his older brother, Sam nodded his head to reaffirm the situation and pulled his brother in for a second hug, which Dean didn’t object to. 

“Thank you, Dean.” Sam said as he held his older brother close. Tears pierced his eyes as it finally dawned on him that he’s leaving his family to go to college.

“No problem, Sammy,” he heard in response. 

“Jesus, you infected me,” Dean said as they pulled away and wiped his own tear off of his cheek. 

Sam let out a light chuckle as he mumbled, “Jerk.”

Dean bent down to open a sliver of Sam’s duffel so he can put the money away for his little brother before giving him a light, “Bitch.” 

“Take care of yourself, Sammy. Please.” Dean said with a strain in his voice as he stood back up. 

“I will, Dean. I promise.” 

“Text me when you get to the station. And to all the stops along the way to California. And then call me once you get to Stanford.” 

“Okay,” Sam said. He took his first step again down the road, this time without Dean. 

“You got your charger?” Dean called after a couple steps. 

“Yeah, I do,” Sam said turning around and walking backwards long enough to show his eyes roll. 

“And your computer?” 

“Yes, mom.” 

“Don’t sass me, boy. Call me, okay?” 

“I will,” Sam said before he finally turned back to walk in the right direction. When he knew Dean was far behind him, he let his tears run down on the lone road as he silently prayed to God, thanking him for everything, and to protect his family while he was gone. 


End file.
